Grovedaughter Witchery

Notes on Consent in Love Magic

In my opinion, love spells can be just as tricky as curses if you go at them the wrong way.

Curses are meant to cause harm and havoc. They don’t depend upon or require the target’s consent to be effective. If you’re looking to hit someone, you don’t ask if they want to be punched in the face.

Love spells, on the other hand, usually deal with attraction, be it romantic, emotional, affectionate, or sexual. All of these are things that are MEANT be consensual, and should be consensual in any healthy relationship.

So casting a love spell on a specific person can be both tricky and somewhat unethical, if it compromises the target’s consent or free will. This is especially true if the spell is meant to “make” a person fall in love or in lust with the caster. There’s just something very unsavory about that, in my opinion. It almost seems like the magical version of doping someone’s drink and I feel very uncomfortable with the idea of it.

And that’s not even getting into the possible problems that can result from attempting to circumvent or subvert a target’s free will. That’s part of what makes cursing so dicey to begin with. (And incidentally, it’s part of what makes healing magic on an unknowing target so difficult, but that’s a matter for another post.)

That being said, I think that there are a number of safer, more ethical alternatives that are just as magical and just as effective.

My favorite method to recommend is a spell based on the Amas Veritas charm from “Practical Magic,” wherein the caster makes a list of the ideal traits they would like to see in a partner and casts a spell to attract an unknown person with those qualities, rather than trying to win the love of one specific party. 

I used an altered version of the spell for myself a couple of years ago, and…well, I fell in love with a man who had been a close friend for several years, and he in turn confessed that he’d had feelings for me for quite some time. It was literally the old “the right one was right under my nose the whole time” story. We’ve been together for two-and-a-half years now and we’re living together quite happily.

So do I believe in love spells? Absolutely. But I firmly believe that they ought to be consensual, and that any spell meant to attract a lover or sweetheart should be cast without a specific person in mind. Because consent isn’t just important in matters of love and sex. It is REQUIRED.

The views expressed on this website are the Unshared Personal Gnosis of the witch known as Bree NicGarran. They are not intended to be taken as absolute truth, nor are they intended to invalidate the religious views of the reader. They are meant only as a suggestion and are limited by the knowledge of the writer. Except in this case. If you use magic to subvert someone's free will to make them love you, leave a healthy relationship, or engage in activities they would otherwise refuse, you are some kind of douche. Please always be sure to double-check your sources, refer to medical texts, and read critically before using any information in your own practice.
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